Day 29 - 5 Songs that speak to me...
As most of you that know me will guess this was extremely difficult to choose just 5 songs... this could change on a daily basis.. so for today this is my 5.
1. Cyndi Laupers- Fearless
2. Josh Groban - You raise me up
3.Ani DiFranco - 32 Flavors
4. Pink - Perfect (Clean Version)
5. Katy Perry - Firework
Day 30 - Reacting to the term "Letting Go"
Over the years I have learned that it takes infinitely more energy to hang on to the past. Not saying we should let go of the lessons learned, but more the emotional baggage attached to them. It's not easy to let go. It takes practice. I'm getting plenty of it being a parent.
Day 31 - A vivid memory
One of my most vivid memories is the day my husband asked me to marry him. We hadn't been dating for very long. But hadn't spent more then a day or two apart since we met three months earlier. We were sitting on our porch at our duplex enjoying the summer morning. Talking about our plans. He got really quiet, took my hand in his and said. "Let's get married." I didn't blubber like a normal girl would I simply said "OK." He rushed into the house to get his keys, we drove down to the county office and applied for our license. Two days later we were married. All without telling our families anything. Infact we didn't tell our families for months after the fact. And we have never regretted it. We are coming up on our 7th anniversary, and I can't imagine my life with out him.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Blogging all of May.. Day 26 through 28
Day 26 - Something I read online....
I spend a lot of time online...more than I should. I recently found this blog and it has changed the way I think about technology. I have been spending less time on the computer/phone and more time with the kids.
Day 27 - A letter to readers....
Dear Readers,
Please excuse my typos, my two year old is sitting on my lap. I am still in my pajamas with my hair un-brushed. My house looks like a bomb went off. I am an imperfect mother who is striving to connect with my children and build a bond with them that will last a lifetime. I have made progress and have some pretty hilarious stories from the on going journey I thought I would share. Mostly I write to let my self vent, I want others to know that it's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to have a mommy melt down. It's ok to not be perfect. I hope you have had some fun reading my posts. I have had fun writing them. I hope you will continue to read them even after the 'Blogging all of May' challenge is finished.
Remember to laugh at yourself, Christina
Day 28 - Only pictures...
I spend a lot of time online...more than I should. I recently found this blog and it has changed the way I think about technology. I have been spending less time on the computer/phone and more time with the kids.
Day 27 - A letter to readers....
Dear Readers,
Please excuse my typos, my two year old is sitting on my lap. I am still in my pajamas with my hair un-brushed. My house looks like a bomb went off. I am an imperfect mother who is striving to connect with my children and build a bond with them that will last a lifetime. I have made progress and have some pretty hilarious stories from the on going journey I thought I would share. Mostly I write to let my self vent, I want others to know that it's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to have a mommy melt down. It's ok to not be perfect. I hope you have had some fun reading my posts. I have had fun writing them. I hope you will continue to read them even after the 'Blogging all of May' challenge is finished.
Remember to laugh at yourself, Christina
Day 28 - Only pictures...
Haylie Spring 2009
Haylie and my niece Coral Summer 2009
Haylie and Baby Clayton 2010
Sleepy Clayton November 2011
Family pictures December 2011
After some summer fun - July 2012
Scott arrives November 2012
I can't believe how big the kids are getting - December 2012
I love taking pictures of sleeping kids...
It's so I can remind my self that there were time when they weren't yelling
May 2013
Blogging all of May... Day 21 through 25
Things have been super insane around here the last few days. And most
of this blog post has been done for awhile... for some reason I thought
I had posted it but apparently not....Sorry for the delay.
Day 21- Favorite posts on my blog.
Honestly I havent done enough posts to have favorites.... but I think this one is my funniest.
Day 22 - Rant about something...
My friend Heather posted this video about the curriculum they are using in the schools. I am so disturbed. While I agree that children need to be made aware of things that are going on in the world I don't feel that a school should be teaching my child how to manipulate people (including me...cause trust me my kids already know how to do that) to get the outcome they want. I wanted to send my kids to learn to read, write, and do math (with out the socialist agenda attached to it). To love to learn learning. The longer I watched the video the more my heart sank into my stomach. It could be the reason I end up home schooling after kindergarten. Depending on what curriculum I can find that won't blow my mind, patience or wallet.
Day 23 - Something I have learned that they don't teach in school....
That it doesn't really matter how smart you are as long as you look good. Think about it for a minute. More and more what you see in any sort of media is the women (and men) who have done who knows what to look like Greek gods. The ridiculous amount of pressure we place on ourselves to look like models and actors is insane. And it's effecting kids, you see the 'clicks' at schools. I'm not saying we should give up exercise or vegetables ... I'm saying be healthy! Moderation people, it's not good to starve your self! It's not good to starve your mind either! I know that first impressions make a big impact. How ever I have learned to not judge a book by it's cover.
Day 24 - My top 3 worst traits....
1. Procrastinator....I am notoriously waiting to do things until the last minute. Some would says it's because I like the pressure. I would say it's because I get distracted easily.
2. Over Analytical...I tend to think about everything and mentally beat a dead horse. Sometimes it works in my favor but more often then not it just drives me and my husband insane.
3. Semi-Obsessive... I have a tendency to get obsessive about things, Indians, musics, art, doula work, etc.... and generally when I'm in the obsessive moments I tend to talk about and research nothing else... lol...
Day 25 - Something someone told me about myself (good or bad)... I received a blessing when I was a teenager (for my LDS friends it was my patriarchal blessing). Anywho, he told me that I would be a ray of sunshine to peoples lives who were dark. I have spent most of my life trying to live up to this.
Day 21- Favorite posts on my blog.
Honestly I havent done enough posts to have favorites.... but I think this one is my funniest.
Day 22 - Rant about something...
My friend Heather posted this video about the curriculum they are using in the schools. I am so disturbed. While I agree that children need to be made aware of things that are going on in the world I don't feel that a school should be teaching my child how to manipulate people (including me...cause trust me my kids already know how to do that) to get the outcome they want. I wanted to send my kids to learn to read, write, and do math (with out the socialist agenda attached to it). To love to learn learning. The longer I watched the video the more my heart sank into my stomach. It could be the reason I end up home schooling after kindergarten. Depending on what curriculum I can find that won't blow my mind, patience or wallet.
Day 23 - Something I have learned that they don't teach in school....
That it doesn't really matter how smart you are as long as you look good. Think about it for a minute. More and more what you see in any sort of media is the women (and men) who have done who knows what to look like Greek gods. The ridiculous amount of pressure we place on ourselves to look like models and actors is insane. And it's effecting kids, you see the 'clicks' at schools. I'm not saying we should give up exercise or vegetables ... I'm saying be healthy! Moderation people, it's not good to starve your self! It's not good to starve your mind either! I know that first impressions make a big impact. How ever I have learned to not judge a book by it's cover.
Day 24 - My top 3 worst traits....
1. Procrastinator....I am notoriously waiting to do things until the last minute. Some would says it's because I like the pressure. I would say it's because I get distracted easily.
2. Over Analytical...I tend to think about everything and mentally beat a dead horse. Sometimes it works in my favor but more often then not it just drives me and my husband insane.
3. Semi-Obsessive... I have a tendency to get obsessive about things, Indians, musics, art, doula work, etc.... and generally when I'm in the obsessive moments I tend to talk about and research nothing else... lol...
Day 25 - Something someone told me about myself (good or bad)... I received a blessing when I was a teenager (for my LDS friends it was my patriarchal blessing). Anywho, he told me that I would be a ray of sunshine to peoples lives who were dark. I have spent most of my life trying to live up to this.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Blog all of May: Day 20 Getting Real
Day 20: Getting real about what I'm struggling with...
This is hard for me to pick one topic. I feel like I'm struggling with a lot of things these days.
I struggle with my weight, I have struggled with it most of my life. While this is the least I have weighed since I had Haylie it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to pass my own body image issues on to Haylie. I want to be healthy, not necessarily skinny, just healthy. But I find it hard to do what I know I need to do. It's a matter of getting my head in the game and not getting discouraged.
I struggle with how to raise my children. Am I being too strict? Not strict enough? Am I crushing their little spirits ? How do I teach them respect and patience.
I find my self losing my patience quickly and honestly it's not even something they are doing. It's me, I'm losing patience with myself. Why can't I be better? Go to church more, exercise, do more projects with the kids, help more people, make money to help with bills, have more patience with the kids, be a better wife to my husband, keep the house cleaner and the laundry up to date, help my family more etc. etc.
I struggle with the feeling of losing my identity. This is going to sound terrible. But I sometimes feel like my role as a mother and wife have smothered my individuality as a normal woman. I don't have time to enjoy painting or reading or even listen to the music I really like (because I would want to listen to it as loud as possible and that is not appropriate for children). I can't really start working on becoming a doula because it is more important that I be home with the kids while they are young and need me. I can't really do any of the art endeavors I would like to do because most of my time is spent cleaning, changing diapers and trying to keep everything else together. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids and my husband more than life it's self. I just feel as if my tank is a little empty these days, and I'm running on vapors. In a little bit a funk and not really sure how to pull myself out. I'm good at helping other people get out of theirs, why can't I help my self ?
This is hard for me to pick one topic. I feel like I'm struggling with a lot of things these days.
I struggle with my weight, I have struggled with it most of my life. While this is the least I have weighed since I had Haylie it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to pass my own body image issues on to Haylie. I want to be healthy, not necessarily skinny, just healthy. But I find it hard to do what I know I need to do. It's a matter of getting my head in the game and not getting discouraged.
I struggle with how to raise my children. Am I being too strict? Not strict enough? Am I crushing their little spirits ? How do I teach them respect and patience.
I find my self losing my patience quickly and honestly it's not even something they are doing. It's me, I'm losing patience with myself. Why can't I be better? Go to church more, exercise, do more projects with the kids, help more people, make money to help with bills, have more patience with the kids, be a better wife to my husband, keep the house cleaner and the laundry up to date, help my family more etc. etc.
I struggle with the feeling of losing my identity. This is going to sound terrible. But I sometimes feel like my role as a mother and wife have smothered my individuality as a normal woman. I don't have time to enjoy painting or reading or even listen to the music I really like (because I would want to listen to it as loud as possible and that is not appropriate for children). I can't really start working on becoming a doula because it is more important that I be home with the kids while they are young and need me. I can't really do any of the art endeavors I would like to do because most of my time is spent cleaning, changing diapers and trying to keep everything else together. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids and my husband more than life it's self. I just feel as if my tank is a little empty these days, and I'm running on vapors. In a little bit a funk and not really sure how to pull myself out. I'm good at helping other people get out of theirs, why can't I help my self ?
Blog all of May: Day 16 through 19
Day 16: Something difficult about my "lot" in life...... and what I'm doing to change it.
Money... ugh it is truly the root of all of our problems. I know it is for a lot of people. The past few years have been extremely rough on us. Cliff works in the construction field and for those of you who don't know how that works, it's usually 6 months on and 6 months off. We have been on the verge of losing our house more than once. And without the help from our church and our families we would be in a much worse situation.
What am I doing to change it... well, it's the little things really. I clip coupons. We have gotten rid of a lot of the little extra things. I try to make as much stuff at home as possible and now that the baby is a little older I'm looking for a night job. I'm not super excited about going back to work (since I haven't had a real "JOB" since the week before Haylie was born, five and half years. It's a long time. But I'm willing to do it because we need to bring in some extra money to survive the slow times).
Day 17: My favorite photo of my self.
This photo its OLD (like 10 years old from my wild and crazy days... in this photo it's like 1am and we have been dancing all night. I'm pretty sure we didn't get home until 4 or 5 am). I'm not sure it's my favorite photo, I don't really like photos of me. But since it's with my sister Michelle and our room mate Natalie... it reminds me of being young. Not that I'm old (but I do feel old most days.)
Day 18: Childhood Story.....
Oh dear.... I think one of my fondest memories/stories from my childhood would be going to visit my great grandma. She had a house down by the train tracks in Orem. It was a tiny little white house with a very neat little lawn. In the back she had an old school clothes line that my cousins and I played on, and a huge tractor tire that she had turned into a planter full of strawberry plants. Her house was filled with plants and special little knick knacks.
She liked to play pinocle, and so my mom and my aunts and uncles would come over and play with her. While my cousins and I ran around like little heathens in the back. Even though the back yard was quite small there was a field that ran behind it. We would go through the back gate and run through the field down to the creek, we caught garden snakes and water skeeters. Pretended we were Indians or pioneers and various other things, made mud pies and imaginary medicine with plants. We were never bored. We would be gone all day, or until our stomachs were growling and we needed some sort of food. I remember being barefoot running through the field and thinking how I would always do this. I feel bad for our kids today who don't have as much freedom to explore and use their imaginations because we have deemed it too dangerous.
Day 19: 5 Favorite blogs and why I love them...
Fun, Cheap or Free She is simply genius... I love all her tips and her advice on starting a budget and keeping it are great and realistic.
One Good Thing by Jillee She has tons of great recipes for home cleaning products. Including my favorite stain remover.
Birth without Fear This is truly so empowering to many women in so many situations.
everything essentially me This isn't a blog so much as a reference guide to using essential oils... I love it .. I use it everyday, sometimes multiple times a day.
Made by Rae Love Love Love all the patterns and tips on here.. since I still consider my self a novice seamstress.
Money... ugh it is truly the root of all of our problems. I know it is for a lot of people. The past few years have been extremely rough on us. Cliff works in the construction field and for those of you who don't know how that works, it's usually 6 months on and 6 months off. We have been on the verge of losing our house more than once. And without the help from our church and our families we would be in a much worse situation.
What am I doing to change it... well, it's the little things really. I clip coupons. We have gotten rid of a lot of the little extra things. I try to make as much stuff at home as possible and now that the baby is a little older I'm looking for a night job. I'm not super excited about going back to work (since I haven't had a real "JOB" since the week before Haylie was born, five and half years. It's a long time. But I'm willing to do it because we need to bring in some extra money to survive the slow times).
Day 17: My favorite photo of my self.
This photo its OLD (like 10 years old from my wild and crazy days... in this photo it's like 1am and we have been dancing all night. I'm pretty sure we didn't get home until 4 or 5 am). I'm not sure it's my favorite photo, I don't really like photos of me. But since it's with my sister Michelle and our room mate Natalie... it reminds me of being young. Not that I'm old (but I do feel old most days.)
Day 18: Childhood Story.....
Oh dear.... I think one of my fondest memories/stories from my childhood would be going to visit my great grandma. She had a house down by the train tracks in Orem. It was a tiny little white house with a very neat little lawn. In the back she had an old school clothes line that my cousins and I played on, and a huge tractor tire that she had turned into a planter full of strawberry plants. Her house was filled with plants and special little knick knacks.
She liked to play pinocle, and so my mom and my aunts and uncles would come over and play with her. While my cousins and I ran around like little heathens in the back. Even though the back yard was quite small there was a field that ran behind it. We would go through the back gate and run through the field down to the creek, we caught garden snakes and water skeeters. Pretended we were Indians or pioneers and various other things, made mud pies and imaginary medicine with plants. We were never bored. We would be gone all day, or until our stomachs were growling and we needed some sort of food. I remember being barefoot running through the field and thinking how I would always do this. I feel bad for our kids today who don't have as much freedom to explore and use their imaginations because we have deemed it too dangerous.
Day 19: 5 Favorite blogs and why I love them...
Fun, Cheap or Free She is simply genius... I love all her tips and her advice on starting a budget and keeping it are great and realistic.
One Good Thing by Jillee She has tons of great recipes for home cleaning products. Including my favorite stain remover.
Birth without Fear This is truly so empowering to many women in so many situations.
everything essentially me This isn't a blog so much as a reference guide to using essential oils... I love it .. I use it everyday, sometimes multiple times a day.
Made by Rae Love Love Love all the patterns and tips on here.. since I still consider my self a novice seamstress.
Blog all of May : Day 15
Day 15: A day in the life.....with pictures
The sweetest of wake up calls... of course he wakes up at 5 a.m. and then goes back to sleep and of course I can't.
Everyone watching a little bit of cartoons and munching on pop tarts (notice the banana... they did get a little bit of healthy with the over loaded sugar breakfast).... this is a special treat
Helping Daddy get the rest of the garden in...
Daddy helps mommy with Scott while she is cleaning and getting lunch ready
Tea Party lunch for the kiddos
Nap time....sweet nap time!
A little bit of Scott play time.. this is kid is too cute
Finger foods for dinner are my go to these days
Ahhhh.. and finally it's time to get ready for bed
(don't mind the mess on the counters I'm in the process of re-organizing the under the sink cabinets) Oh yeah and those paint spots have been up on my wall for 3 years... yes 3.. because I can't decide!!
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Blog all fo May: Day 10 through 14
So I can't even tell you how many times I've tried to post this..my
computer is trying to thwart my blogging efforts (it keeps deleting
everything).
Day 10- Most embarrassing moment-
When you have kids it seems like you have an ongoing embarrassing moment that never ends especially while they are young. I'll go with one that isn't graphic... lol at least to me
As a breastfeeding mother you have a number of issues... but my favorite is while standing in the line at the grocery store.
While standing in line all three of the kids are in full on meltdown mode. Screaming and crying. I'm holding Scott (who is starving because it took 2 hours to do what should have been a 30 minute trip), Clayton is on my leg wanting to be picked up and Haylie is full on having a drama queen moment because she wants to go play the claw machine and get a stuffed animal. I'm digging in my huge purse (because I hate diaper bags and would rather it be a purse) to try and find my wallet. Only to realize that the clerk is straight up staring at my breasts and getting very red in the face. Annoyed I reply, "Is there a problem?" As I swipe my card and try to get the rest of the groceries back into the cart. He coughs and sputters, "Well... um.... it appears that you are..... um... leaking..... and I think your baby might need a diaper change." He hands me my receipt.
I look down at my chest to realize that I'm not just leaking I'm soaked. And the baby has a full on blow out which is now smeared all over the place because I've been juggling him to get out of the store. Oh and it's also on Clayton...with my head hanging down I sulk back to the van.
Trust me when I say that I have many more embarrassing moments.... but since I'm behind on blogging that will have to wait until another day.
Day 11- Sell myself in 10 words or less....
Honestly this is not my strong suit.... but here goes.
Loyal, compassionate, humorous, inquisitive, passionate. eccentric, eclectic, semi-artistic, maternal, and some would say a tad hippie'ish (I would say non-judgmental).
Day 12- What do I miss?
I miss my best friend and sister Michelle. We lived together for a long time when I was living in Las Vegas, it was quite an adventure. Then she moved to California and I moved to Colorado. Now I live in Utah and she lives in Texas. We still talk on the phone almost every day (or at least we try to), she is one of the very few who truly understands me (I mean it's her, my mom and my husband. But let's be honest even the hubby doesn't always get it). She has put me back together after a number of unfortunate incidents. And for some reason she has always had a profound belief in my potential. She is the glue that keeps me together on a regular basis. I love her more then words can ever describe,
I miss my twenties... concerts, staying out late and then rushing home to get ready for work, waking up in the morning and not feeling every joint and muscle hurting, blasting the music in the car as loud as possible. Now I have it on but it's very low and I make fun of people who listen to it really loud...I mean don't they know what they are doing to their ears?
Geez when did I turn into and old lady? But I wouldn't change anything that has happened it has made me who I am.
Day 13- A public apology
I'm sorry for the blood curdling screams that come from my children everyday. I'm sure that my neighbors think I'm either murdering my children or they are murdering me. It's often a game between Haylie and Clayton to see who can scream the loudest and highest pitch. I have tried everything to get them to stop. They think it's funny when I tell them they are making my ears bleed. So I am truly sorry if we woke you from a nap, made your dog howl, or made you cringe. We are in the process (and I'm sure we will be for some time) of trying to teach them volume control.
Day 14- 10 things that make me really happy.
1. Baby rolls. I love babies. I love the way they smell, their little fingers and toes. But most of all I love their little baby rolls. You know what I'm talking about right? As they hit around 3 months old they start getting chubby and their little legs, arms, chin, ankles and belly get these little rolls. I don't know why. But this honestly makes me happy. Maybe it's because instinctively I know that the baby is obviously well fed and generally that means they are well taken care of and loved.
2. Watching my husband play with the kids. Cheesy I know, I love to see them playing and laughing together. It makes my heart swell up. There was a point in my life when I thought I wasn't going to have kids. So to watch them with him makes the world seem right.
3. Hearing my children say I love you. Most mothers know this feeling. It has been especially powerful for me with Clayton. I was worried for a long time because he wasn't talking much at all. But he has made huge strides in the last six months to try and communicate with us. The other day I was putting him down for nap and as I covered him up with his blanket he said in this sweet little voice, "Tanks Mom." I smiled and said you are welcome. He wiggled around a bit then smiled at me and said. "Love you." And my heart nearly exploded. Similarly Haylie busted out with "you are the best mom ever I love you," after I made chocolate chip pancakes for dinner one night.
4. Nap time. I'm very lucky that all of my children still take naps. There is something blissful about having the house completely quite for one to two hours in the middle of the day. If I'm really lucky I get to take a nap with them.
5. Music. Oh my I could honestly talk about music in great length. But this is honestly one of the things in my life that I couldn't live with out. It calms me on bad days and give me energy on days that seem to drag. Sometimes it's as if someone has poured out into the music exactly what my soul has been feeling.
6. A good book. I have been caught on a number of occasions downstairs under the lamp at 2:00 a.m.. Romance, mystery, fantasy, educational, etc....doesn't really matter. I'm at chronically reading three to four books at a time. I have an over active brain. Reading allows my brain a chance to shut the rest of my brain up at least for a little bit.
7. Craft projects. I have a bunch of craft or sewing projects going on at one time. I wish I could just focus and do one at a time but that's not how I work (hence the blog title of Domestic A.D.D). But there is nothing like the feeling of finishing a project that you have been working on for weeks (OK maybe months or years in some cases).
8. Chocolate. I know it's lame since 95% of the female population feels the same way. It's my personal crack. Recently I have been trying to avoid chocolate for a couple of reasons. 1. It makes my baby a tad pukey. And since I deal with enough issues I try to avoid cleaning up extra messes. 2. It really doesn't help my weight issue. However my husband has requested (after finding me in the pantry with a spoon, a jar of Nutella, and a jar of peanut butter), that maybe instead of going cold turkey that I should just try having a small piece every few days. When asked why...he said that I had been cranky and sort of mean, and then at least I wouldn't feel guilty about hiding in the pantry.
9. Antiques. Not all of them. I have some special ones that I inherited from my family and some that I have found over the years. I like the history of them. Sometimes I imagine the stories they could tell if they could talk. I know it's silly.
And for the completion of total randomness...
10. Indians. I don't even know how to explain this one. Since I was little I have been fascinated by them. I used to have dreams that I was one. I mean like full on technicolor dreams the kind where you wake and can't tell where you are because it was so real. I even told my brothers (when they were little like 3 and 5 years old) that they Indians had left me on the porch because I had been born with blond hair and blue eyes. I didn't know that they believed me for years afterwards.
Day 10- Most embarrassing moment-
When you have kids it seems like you have an ongoing embarrassing moment that never ends especially while they are young. I'll go with one that isn't graphic... lol at least to me
As a breastfeeding mother you have a number of issues... but my favorite is while standing in the line at the grocery store.
While standing in line all three of the kids are in full on meltdown mode. Screaming and crying. I'm holding Scott (who is starving because it took 2 hours to do what should have been a 30 minute trip), Clayton is on my leg wanting to be picked up and Haylie is full on having a drama queen moment because she wants to go play the claw machine and get a stuffed animal. I'm digging in my huge purse (because I hate diaper bags and would rather it be a purse) to try and find my wallet. Only to realize that the clerk is straight up staring at my breasts and getting very red in the face. Annoyed I reply, "Is there a problem?" As I swipe my card and try to get the rest of the groceries back into the cart. He coughs and sputters, "Well... um.... it appears that you are..... um... leaking..... and I think your baby might need a diaper change." He hands me my receipt.
I look down at my chest to realize that I'm not just leaking I'm soaked. And the baby has a full on blow out which is now smeared all over the place because I've been juggling him to get out of the store. Oh and it's also on Clayton...with my head hanging down I sulk back to the van.
Trust me when I say that I have many more embarrassing moments.... but since I'm behind on blogging that will have to wait until another day.
Day 11- Sell myself in 10 words or less....
Honestly this is not my strong suit.... but here goes.
Loyal, compassionate, humorous, inquisitive, passionate. eccentric, eclectic, semi-artistic, maternal, and some would say a tad hippie'ish (I would say non-judgmental).
Day 12- What do I miss?
I miss my best friend and sister Michelle. We lived together for a long time when I was living in Las Vegas, it was quite an adventure. Then she moved to California and I moved to Colorado. Now I live in Utah and she lives in Texas. We still talk on the phone almost every day (or at least we try to), she is one of the very few who truly understands me (I mean it's her, my mom and my husband. But let's be honest even the hubby doesn't always get it). She has put me back together after a number of unfortunate incidents. And for some reason she has always had a profound belief in my potential. She is the glue that keeps me together on a regular basis. I love her more then words can ever describe,
I miss my twenties... concerts, staying out late and then rushing home to get ready for work, waking up in the morning and not feeling every joint and muscle hurting, blasting the music in the car as loud as possible. Now I have it on but it's very low and I make fun of people who listen to it really loud...I mean don't they know what they are doing to their ears?
Geez when did I turn into and old lady? But I wouldn't change anything that has happened it has made me who I am.
Day 13- A public apology
I'm sorry for the blood curdling screams that come from my children everyday. I'm sure that my neighbors think I'm either murdering my children or they are murdering me. It's often a game between Haylie and Clayton to see who can scream the loudest and highest pitch. I have tried everything to get them to stop. They think it's funny when I tell them they are making my ears bleed. So I am truly sorry if we woke you from a nap, made your dog howl, or made you cringe. We are in the process (and I'm sure we will be for some time) of trying to teach them volume control.
Day 14- 10 things that make me really happy.
1. Baby rolls. I love babies. I love the way they smell, their little fingers and toes. But most of all I love their little baby rolls. You know what I'm talking about right? As they hit around 3 months old they start getting chubby and their little legs, arms, chin, ankles and belly get these little rolls. I don't know why. But this honestly makes me happy. Maybe it's because instinctively I know that the baby is obviously well fed and generally that means they are well taken care of and loved.
2. Watching my husband play with the kids. Cheesy I know, I love to see them playing and laughing together. It makes my heart swell up. There was a point in my life when I thought I wasn't going to have kids. So to watch them with him makes the world seem right.
3. Hearing my children say I love you. Most mothers know this feeling. It has been especially powerful for me with Clayton. I was worried for a long time because he wasn't talking much at all. But he has made huge strides in the last six months to try and communicate with us. The other day I was putting him down for nap and as I covered him up with his blanket he said in this sweet little voice, "Tanks Mom." I smiled and said you are welcome. He wiggled around a bit then smiled at me and said. "Love you." And my heart nearly exploded. Similarly Haylie busted out with "you are the best mom ever I love you," after I made chocolate chip pancakes for dinner one night.
4. Nap time. I'm very lucky that all of my children still take naps. There is something blissful about having the house completely quite for one to two hours in the middle of the day. If I'm really lucky I get to take a nap with them.
5. Music. Oh my I could honestly talk about music in great length. But this is honestly one of the things in my life that I couldn't live with out. It calms me on bad days and give me energy on days that seem to drag. Sometimes it's as if someone has poured out into the music exactly what my soul has been feeling.
6. A good book. I have been caught on a number of occasions downstairs under the lamp at 2:00 a.m.. Romance, mystery, fantasy, educational, etc....doesn't really matter. I'm at chronically reading three to four books at a time. I have an over active brain. Reading allows my brain a chance to shut the rest of my brain up at least for a little bit.
7. Craft projects. I have a bunch of craft or sewing projects going on at one time. I wish I could just focus and do one at a time but that's not how I work (hence the blog title of Domestic A.D.D). But there is nothing like the feeling of finishing a project that you have been working on for weeks (OK maybe months or years in some cases).
8. Chocolate. I know it's lame since 95% of the female population feels the same way. It's my personal crack. Recently I have been trying to avoid chocolate for a couple of reasons. 1. It makes my baby a tad pukey. And since I deal with enough issues I try to avoid cleaning up extra messes. 2. It really doesn't help my weight issue. However my husband has requested (after finding me in the pantry with a spoon, a jar of Nutella, and a jar of peanut butter), that maybe instead of going cold turkey that I should just try having a small piece every few days. When asked why...he said that I had been cranky and sort of mean, and then at least I wouldn't feel guilty about hiding in the pantry.
9. Antiques. Not all of them. I have some special ones that I inherited from my family and some that I have found over the years. I like the history of them. Sometimes I imagine the stories they could tell if they could talk. I know it's silly.
And for the completion of total randomness...
10. Indians. I don't even know how to explain this one. Since I was little I have been fascinated by them. I used to have dreams that I was one. I mean like full on technicolor dreams the kind where you wake and can't tell where you are because it was so real. I even told my brothers (when they were little like 3 and 5 years old) that they Indians had left me on the porch because I had been born with blond hair and blue eyes. I didn't know that they believed me for years afterwards.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Blog all of May : Day 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 ...Oh My
Day 5
The challenge today is to publicly profess my love for a fellow blogger or friend. And because I'm chronically indecisive.
My best friend and sister Michelle started a blog to record her journey on her way to becoming a doula. I love it because I love her and it's also something I dream about dding to my life.
and ...
Fun, Cheap or Free - I love love this site. She always has great ideas and advice on a number of topics.
Day 6 - What do you do?
This is a funny question because I honestly I have asked myself this question on a regular basis. What is it that I really do ? I do laundry, dishes, vacuum, clean bathrooms, referee fights, cook, change diapers, take out the trash, try to be artistic and creative, etc.
How do you put a title on being a stay at home mother of three ? My husband one time told me I was a Domestic Operations Coordinator.
Day 7 - The things I'm most afraid of.....
There is one that scares me the most. That I will ruin my children. Have I been too strict? Or not strict enough? Will my occasional melt downs traumatize them for life? Do they know that I love them more than life itself? I try to tell them and show them everyday that I love them. Try to teach them all the important things they will need to make it through in life. All you other mothers know how hard it is... you never know if what you are doing is making a difference in there little lives. I pray on a regular basis that I wont make any major mistakes with them and that above all they will know that I love them with every fiber of my being even when I'm having a full blown mommy meltdown.
Day 8 - Hmmmmm A piece of advice for others...
I'm not really sure I like this topic... I don't really like receiving unwanted advice and therefore try to avoid giving unwanted advice. But since this is the topic... I guess my advice would be, to trust yourself. There have been many mistakes in my life. Some I regret and some others not so much. I have spent a fair amount of my life questioning myself and that little voice who is screaming at me in my head. There have been some things that if I had just trusted my instinct it wouldn't have been such a dramatic situation. This goes for things about your own children. No one knows them like you do. Trust your gut instinct.
Day 9 - A moment in my day...
My little men... honestly when we found out we were pregnant with Scott I was so nervous. Clayton was still breastfeeding and I knew it would be a challenge. The last 6 months have definitely been interesting. But all in all I am amazed at how much Clayton loves his little brother. He often gives him kisses and hugs and exclaims with great joy "Awww baby cute."
The challenge today is to publicly profess my love for a fellow blogger or friend. And because I'm chronically indecisive.
My best friend and sister Michelle started a blog to record her journey on her way to becoming a doula. I love it because I love her and it's also something I dream about dding to my life.
and ...
Fun, Cheap or Free - I love love this site. She always has great ideas and advice on a number of topics.
Day 6 - What do you do?
This is a funny question because I honestly I have asked myself this question on a regular basis. What is it that I really do ? I do laundry, dishes, vacuum, clean bathrooms, referee fights, cook, change diapers, take out the trash, try to be artistic and creative, etc.
How do you put a title on being a stay at home mother of three ? My husband one time told me I was a Domestic Operations Coordinator.
Day 7 - The things I'm most afraid of.....
There is one that scares me the most. That I will ruin my children. Have I been too strict? Or not strict enough? Will my occasional melt downs traumatize them for life? Do they know that I love them more than life itself? I try to tell them and show them everyday that I love them. Try to teach them all the important things they will need to make it through in life. All you other mothers know how hard it is... you never know if what you are doing is making a difference in there little lives. I pray on a regular basis that I wont make any major mistakes with them and that above all they will know that I love them with every fiber of my being even when I'm having a full blown mommy meltdown.
Day 8 - Hmmmmm A piece of advice for others...
I'm not really sure I like this topic... I don't really like receiving unwanted advice and therefore try to avoid giving unwanted advice. But since this is the topic... I guess my advice would be, to trust yourself. There have been many mistakes in my life. Some I regret and some others not so much. I have spent a fair amount of my life questioning myself and that little voice who is screaming at me in my head. There have been some things that if I had just trusted my instinct it wouldn't have been such a dramatic situation. This goes for things about your own children. No one knows them like you do. Trust your gut instinct.
Day 9 - A moment in my day...
My little men... honestly when we found out we were pregnant with Scott I was so nervous. Clayton was still breastfeeding and I knew it would be a challenge. The last 6 months have definitely been interesting. But all in all I am amazed at how much Clayton loves his little brother. He often gives him kisses and hugs and exclaims with great joy "Awww baby cute."
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Blog all of May: Day 4: Favorite Quote
I really really like this topic.... however choosing one quote is going to be difficult so I picked two...
"If we wait until we are ready we'll be waiting the rest of our lives." Lemony Snicket
Why do I love this quote? For a couple of reasons. One, I tend to over think things for extended periods of time. Come on I have know for at least the last ten years that I want to work in the maternity field, but I mulled over where to start instead of doing something/anything about it and BAM! Ten years have gone by. Two, I think in general people say to themselves "When the kids get bigger" or "When we are more financially stable" etc... I'm not saying go buy a house when your unemployed, I'm saying that if the opportunity arises... Seize the day!
"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is: "try to please everybody." Herbert Bayard Swope
I try to remember this as often as possible... I have a terrible habit of trying to make everyone happy. And inevitably I end up super stressed, tired, overwhelmed, and falling apart at the seems. So then I feel the need to put on a big smiley face and pretending that everything is fine. I've have been getting better over the years. But it does still happen, and for some reason when it's happening this quote always manages to make it's way back into my life.
There are at least 100 more quotes I could use or that I really love, but these are the ones that I try to remind my self on a daily basis.
"If we wait until we are ready we'll be waiting the rest of our lives." Lemony Snicket
Why do I love this quote? For a couple of reasons. One, I tend to over think things for extended periods of time. Come on I have know for at least the last ten years that I want to work in the maternity field, but I mulled over where to start instead of doing something/anything about it and BAM! Ten years have gone by. Two, I think in general people say to themselves "When the kids get bigger" or "When we are more financially stable" etc... I'm not saying go buy a house when your unemployed, I'm saying that if the opportunity arises... Seize the day!
"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure which is: "try to please everybody." Herbert Bayard Swope
I try to remember this as often as possible... I have a terrible habit of trying to make everyone happy. And inevitably I end up super stressed, tired, overwhelmed, and falling apart at the seems. So then I feel the need to put on a big smiley face and pretending that everything is fine. I've have been getting better over the years. But it does still happen, and for some reason when it's happening this quote always manages to make it's way back into my life.
There are at least 100 more quotes I could use or that I really love, but these are the ones that I try to remind my self on a daily basis.
Blog all of May - Day 3: Things that make me uncomfortable
There are very few things that make me uncomfortable in the long run of things. But here are a few that get me...
1. Shoes... I know you are thinking what?! But honestly I love the idea of shoes with their beads, buckles and laces. I love to shop for shoes. But I would rather go barefoot or wear flip flops (I seriously own 10 pairs of flip flops). And 9 times out of 10 when you see me I'm either barefoot or in flip flops. I don't like my feet to feel confined, it feels like I'm suffocating when I wear "normal" shoes.
2. People who think it's ok to open my cute car seat cover to peak and poke at my baby. I'm not talking about people I know (like my grandma or friends from church), I'm talking about complete strangers standing behind you in line at the grocery store sticking in their hands to pinch at my brand new baby. I don't know you why do you think that's ok? Sort of on the same line...why do random strangers think it's ok to go around rubbing pregnant women's bellies? Hello?! Do you have no boundaries? I don't know you or where you have been. Are you sick ? Do you wash your hands? So unless you know me don't touch me or my baby.
3. Complete strangers giving you parenting advice. Ok, I know this sounds witchy... I'm sure they have good intentions. But honestly, when I'm standing in line holding my toddler and swinging the car seat back and forth to keep the baby from loosing it I don't want to hear that I should let my baby just cry, etc. I didn't turn around and ask you "What do you think I should do?" Like wise I don't want to hear about what you did with your kids or your grand kids. I'm on a mission to get in and out of the store with all possible speed, with the least amount of causalities.
Like I said there isn't much that really makes me uncomfortable....
1. Shoes... I know you are thinking what?! But honestly I love the idea of shoes with their beads, buckles and laces. I love to shop for shoes. But I would rather go barefoot or wear flip flops (I seriously own 10 pairs of flip flops). And 9 times out of 10 when you see me I'm either barefoot or in flip flops. I don't like my feet to feel confined, it feels like I'm suffocating when I wear "normal" shoes.
2. People who think it's ok to open my cute car seat cover to peak and poke at my baby. I'm not talking about people I know (like my grandma or friends from church), I'm talking about complete strangers standing behind you in line at the grocery store sticking in their hands to pinch at my brand new baby. I don't know you why do you think that's ok? Sort of on the same line...why do random strangers think it's ok to go around rubbing pregnant women's bellies? Hello?! Do you have no boundaries? I don't know you or where you have been. Are you sick ? Do you wash your hands? So unless you know me don't touch me or my baby.
3. Complete strangers giving you parenting advice. Ok, I know this sounds witchy... I'm sure they have good intentions. But honestly, when I'm standing in line holding my toddler and swinging the car seat back and forth to keep the baby from loosing it I don't want to hear that I should let my baby just cry, etc. I didn't turn around and ask you "What do you think I should do?" Like wise I don't want to hear about what you did with your kids or your grand kids. I'm on a mission to get in and out of the store with all possible speed, with the least amount of causalities.
Like I said there isn't much that really makes me uncomfortable....
Friday, May 3, 2013
Blog all of May... Day 2: Something I'm good at and a tutorial
So this was hard for me... because honestly there are a lot of things that I do that I don't necessarily feel I'm good at. But since I currently have two out of three kids in diapers and one breastfeeding, I chose "How to change two diapers while breastfeeding."
Step 1: Realize that your beautiful baby is starving because you have spent all morning chasing your two year old around the house trying to keep him from hurting himself or burning down the house. Get comfy with your sweet little baby, whip out the girls and start to feed him.
Step 2: Have your two year old climb on your lap, and just as he sits down get the unholy smell that is coming from his pull up. Try not to throw up. This would be upsetting to the baby and the two year.
Step 3: Try to not let the baby fall off of your lap while trying to to get your two year old to get you the wipes and another pull up.
Step 4: After 10 minutes of trying to give directions to your two year old about finding the wipes and pull up you finally get up and carry the baby to your room and lay him the bed so that you can get them yourself.
Step 5: While the baby is screaming (because he is still hungry) chase down your two year old who is running around yelling "poopy bum" through out the house. All the while the girls are flapping everywhere (as there were unstrapped moments before). And have your five year old laughing hysterically at you because "Mom you sound like a flat tire".
Step 6: Now that you have caught your two your old, you should try to catch your breath while still trying not to throw up on him because the smell is so awful it smells like something died. Try to take his pants off while he is bouncing and twisting around on the bed.
Step 7: Get your Boppy out and try to re-latch baby so that he will stop crying while your two year is twisting up like a pretzel. With your one free hand open the nasty diaper only to realize that the wipes are now on the floor. Holler at your five year who is still laughing at flat tire mommy in the other room, to come and hand you the wipes.
Step 8: Finally with wipes in your one free hand, try to clean of the horror that is in your two years old diaper while he sings out "Ewwww nasty poopy bum". At which point your sweet baby yacks on you, and then makes noises that sound like Hiroshima. To which your two year is now singing "Ewwww baby stinky bum".
Step 9: Now that the mess is cleaned off of your two year old, spend at least 5 minutes wrestling him to hold still while you put on a clean/dry pull up. Make sure that he kicks or elbows you in the eye at least once. Spend another 5 minutes trying to get his pants back on. Once your two year old is put back together, you realize that the baby bomb noises have turned into an emergency as his diaper is literally blown out and there is now not only poop running up the baby's back but all over your leg and your arm.
Step 10: Try to send your two year to his room to play with his cars so that you can put your full attention into cleaning up the toxic spill that is all over you and your baby. Only to have him start jumping on the bed. Try to carefully remove the now covered onesie without getting poop in the babies hair or on his face. Fail miserably.
Step 11: Abandon breastfeeding. In fact abandon the wipes. You are now at Def-con 1 disaster. While carrying the baby to the bathroom to just shower off all the poop realize that in the process of taking off his clothes you undid one of the diaper tabs...and there is now pee running down the side of you.
Step 12: Remove the remaining diaper and just step into the shower fully clothed holding the baby, while both the two year old and five year old are laughing at you saying "you don't chower with clothes on'. After everything is rinsed off, get out and leave a trail of wet foot prints all over the floor. Re-diaper the baby and put a fresh onesie on (while getting goose bumps the size of eggs because you are standing in full on soaked clothes). Strip from your own wet clothes and replace with new clean dry clothes.
Step 13: Snuggle up with the baby and start to resume feeding when you realize he has fallen asleep.
And that is how you change two diapers while breastfeeding.
Step 1: Realize that your beautiful baby is starving because you have spent all morning chasing your two year old around the house trying to keep him from hurting himself or burning down the house. Get comfy with your sweet little baby, whip out the girls and start to feed him.
Step 2: Have your two year old climb on your lap, and just as he sits down get the unholy smell that is coming from his pull up. Try not to throw up. This would be upsetting to the baby and the two year.
Step 3: Try to not let the baby fall off of your lap while trying to to get your two year old to get you the wipes and another pull up.
Step 4: After 10 minutes of trying to give directions to your two year old about finding the wipes and pull up you finally get up and carry the baby to your room and lay him the bed so that you can get them yourself.
Step 5: While the baby is screaming (because he is still hungry) chase down your two year old who is running around yelling "poopy bum" through out the house. All the while the girls are flapping everywhere (as there were unstrapped moments before). And have your five year old laughing hysterically at you because "Mom you sound like a flat tire".
Step 6: Now that you have caught your two your old, you should try to catch your breath while still trying not to throw up on him because the smell is so awful it smells like something died. Try to take his pants off while he is bouncing and twisting around on the bed.
Step 7: Get your Boppy out and try to re-latch baby so that he will stop crying while your two year is twisting up like a pretzel. With your one free hand open the nasty diaper only to realize that the wipes are now on the floor. Holler at your five year who is still laughing at flat tire mommy in the other room, to come and hand you the wipes.
Step 8: Finally with wipes in your one free hand, try to clean of the horror that is in your two years old diaper while he sings out "Ewwww nasty poopy bum". At which point your sweet baby yacks on you, and then makes noises that sound like Hiroshima. To which your two year is now singing "Ewwww baby stinky bum".
Step 9: Now that the mess is cleaned off of your two year old, spend at least 5 minutes wrestling him to hold still while you put on a clean/dry pull up. Make sure that he kicks or elbows you in the eye at least once. Spend another 5 minutes trying to get his pants back on. Once your two year old is put back together, you realize that the baby bomb noises have turned into an emergency as his diaper is literally blown out and there is now not only poop running up the baby's back but all over your leg and your arm.
Step 10: Try to send your two year to his room to play with his cars so that you can put your full attention into cleaning up the toxic spill that is all over you and your baby. Only to have him start jumping on the bed. Try to carefully remove the now covered onesie without getting poop in the babies hair or on his face. Fail miserably.
Step 11: Abandon breastfeeding. In fact abandon the wipes. You are now at Def-con 1 disaster. While carrying the baby to the bathroom to just shower off all the poop realize that in the process of taking off his clothes you undid one of the diaper tabs...and there is now pee running down the side of you.
Step 12: Remove the remaining diaper and just step into the shower fully clothed holding the baby, while both the two year old and five year old are laughing at you saying "you don't chower with clothes on'. After everything is rinsed off, get out and leave a trail of wet foot prints all over the floor. Re-diaper the baby and put a fresh onesie on (while getting goose bumps the size of eggs because you are standing in full on soaked clothes). Strip from your own wet clothes and replace with new clean dry clothes.
Step 13: Snuggle up with the baby and start to resume feeding when you realize he has fallen asleep.
And that is how you change two diapers while breastfeeding.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Blogging All of May
So this morning because I can't sleep like a normal person I was reading one of my friends blogs, she mentioned she was doing a blogging challenge from Story of my Life. As you can tell I'm not at all consistent at blogging. I think over two years I've done less than 10 posts. That is about to change as I have decided that if I don't start venting sharing somewhere that it is entirely possible that I might spontaneously implode. I don't claim to be witty or even interesting, but I need an outlet so here goes.
Day 1: Story of my life in 250 words or less.
I'm 33 years old and the mother of three beautiful children and married to an amazing man who manages to handle all of my scatter brained ideas. We have been married for almost seven years and I still learn things about him and me daily that still surprise me. I have a passionate mother who taught me to follow my dreams and always believed that I'm capable of anything I truly set my mind to. I have three younger brothers who I am consistently amazed and in awe of (weird to think they are adults I still sometimes see them as the little tyrants who tried to tangle up my teenage years). My best friend and sister Michelle, has been my rock, the little voice that says try again, sometimes my heart and soul. I'm am extremely grateful and proud of my family. I have recently embarked on going into the field of supporting women during and after pregnancy as doula, and just became a doTerra consultant (that is a post for another day but seriously am passionate about both).
I'm not sure that was 250 words (most likely it was over 250)... honestly if I went into it I could fill in several blog posts about where I have been and what I want in life, it would take a loooooooong time.
Day 1: Story of my life in 250 words or less.
I'm 33 years old and the mother of three beautiful children and married to an amazing man who manages to handle all of my scatter brained ideas. We have been married for almost seven years and I still learn things about him and me daily that still surprise me. I have a passionate mother who taught me to follow my dreams and always believed that I'm capable of anything I truly set my mind to. I have three younger brothers who I am consistently amazed and in awe of (weird to think they are adults I still sometimes see them as the little tyrants who tried to tangle up my teenage years). My best friend and sister Michelle, has been my rock, the little voice that says try again, sometimes my heart and soul. I'm am extremely grateful and proud of my family. I have recently embarked on going into the field of supporting women during and after pregnancy as doula, and just became a doTerra consultant (that is a post for another day but seriously am passionate about both).
I'm not sure that was 250 words (most likely it was over 250)... honestly if I went into it I could fill in several blog posts about where I have been and what I want in life, it would take a loooooooong time.
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